Thursday, April 26, 2012
Took me this long to realize.
Not sure if I should be ashamed or feeling lucky that I found my answer or rather the cause of my misery for the last few months. All the while and all the time, I was blaming it on the terms of loving someone and looking like a fool to "fight" for what I want. After a series of crying episodes, I surprised myself when I cried about HIM. Of all people, HIM. Such a wasted effort and a dumb-ass. But a breakthrough nonetheless. The whole time I was exclaiming out to the world, I belong in another place, I need to go and blah blah blah that I'm missing TS, when it's HIM. Wah, the feeling is TMD KNNCCB. The period of time that I was suffering was a pure illusion, a nightmare that I single-handedly trapped myself in. I found the root of all problems and I have once again regained my freedom. Freedom of my thoughts and emotions. Secretly, I am smiling because I start to see myself with angst when dealing with my work flow. I am exhibiting the real me, again slowly and that is just apt for the big racing event next month. I need that part of me back to cope with all the stress that has been tumbling down. So yeah, all the misses? They are just an empty blank now. Hell yeah!