Saturday, September 10, 2011
Essentially, I'm going through probably the worse of the year. Many thoughts are running through on my mind and I've woken up in two consecutive days going UGH! I feel that I'm gonna hurl soon and I can kill anyone at all with my bare hands, in all honesty, it can be anyone at all, I'm not picky. I have no fucking idea as to why but I do know what triggered it- me striving for perfection and fucking it each time, with that more pressure is on and all I have in my mind was to excel. It's a horrid horrid feeling to know that you have failed and everyone is watching. Suddenly, my previous ammo of 'I have nothing to lose' seems to burst into flames, like it has never ever been there before. Am I in my own safety zone? I seem to be too comfortable with what I have now and that is throwing me off balance, what is wrong with me?