Today is blog post is not about love, blah, flirting, blah, emo-ness, blah.
It's about a friend.
Honestly, I know how I block out people in my life, because it isn't governed by maybe yes, maybe no. I'm a cruel bitch yes.
At this point in time, it is pretty safe to say that we have very different beliefs. Religion wise, she's a christian and I'm a tarot card reader (don't wanna consider myself as a full-fledged pagan).
I never believe so much in right and wrong, well theoretically I am only interested in what I wanna do, when I feel like, whatever that gives me the high to do it. It is always the thrill that excite me.
She has a sense of righteous that she rattled on me for a stupid incident. Me being me, I never forgot about that. And people, I was in primary school at that time. It didn't matter if a disgusting boy wanted to ask me out on a date, it didn't. It fucking mattered when a close friend rattled on me.
Fast-fowarding to secondary school when I had the most whacked out shitty years of my life, I went in and out of depression plenty of times. She brought me to her church. Sincerely, I did appreciate the time I had with the church with the friendly people, it encouraged me further in searching for that energy source when I spoke to "God", but my concept of how a belief should rule me wasn't like that. It doesn't mean that if I enjoyed having tattoos on me meant that I am spoiling God's creation. Ink became part of my personality.
It doesn't mean that if I want to hang out with people who had done it wrong meant that I can't accept their lifestyle and who they are because of what they did. It doesn't mean that they are "bad" people. It just meant that they did mistakes, and is it their fault if they didn't have God's grace on them just because our genes were keyed into used by Adam and Eve, Jesus, if you can't open up your heart and see all these people, you will start judging them.
They are not like that!
And lastly, what about those people, those that are smiling and working hard in their own lives without God? That was the answer I was searching for.
My dear friend, I've never forgotten about you but I just felt outcasted when I left church and you stopped accepting me for what I was becoming. I miss the times when we can just share and talk about anything, and no barriers. Not when you tell me that I couldn't understand what you went through and you could only tell the more experienced christians about it.
Enough of my vengeful rant. I just wanna say, yes I miss you. In an odd way, I suddenly receive updates and shortly, I was linked to your blog and well, for the past half an hour I spent it on emo-ing with your blog posts through the months and I realized how much we have changed but yet we grew similarly. Even if that post wasn't about me, selfish me thought it was, doesn't matter, just wish that we can do a quick catch-up soon.